Ashante (name changed for privacy) met her husband many years ago in Oregon while he was stationed in Nebraska and serving in the airforce. Their courtship mostly consisted of long late night phone calls lasting from 3 to 4 hours. Without the distractions, most dating couples have gotten to know each other by sharing thoughts and stories and ideas.
After they had been married some years they had to add a second line to their home to accommodate a computer. Every so often the phone would ring, Ashante would answer it and it would be him, on the phone calling from the next room. She said, "We'd talk for an hour or two... we'd talk about everything from silly to serious to the mundane. I still get little butterflies thinking about those sweet treasured moments of 'connecting' whether from a thousand miles away or from the next room."
Ashante's husband spoke two of Gary Chapman's famous 5 Love Language, "Words of affirmation," and "Quality time." Focus on the Family explains we all speak different emotional love languages and in order to show our partner we love them, we should first find out what their love language is.
Here are four more cute things you can do to show your partner you love them using their love language:
1. Receiving gifts
You don't have to be rich to give gifts. You just have to be thoughtful. Keep a list of all the things your partner likes. Get creative.
If your wife really loves camping, borrow or buy a pop-up tent, set it up in the bedroom. Don't forget candles and microwave S'mores. Remember, wrapping paper and bows can make anything a special gift. Make yourself a ribbon bow-tie and pin the card to your shirt. Happy camping!
Take a stack of post-it notes and write words or sentences on each post-it that describes your wife. For example, "great kisser, makes me laugh, beautiful." Make a sign that reads, "My wife is..." While your wife is at work, with friends or shopping find her car and tape the sign to the windshield and then over the car with your notes of love!
You could also write a poem or rap. It doesn't have to be good. Silly but sincere works! Find a musician and ask them to put music to your love note. Have them go to your wife's work or surprise her at home and serenade her. This song will be best appreciated with chocolate.
3. Physical touch
In the dead of winter if you can get a few hours alone at home, make an excuse to get your wife out of the house just long enough to set up a surprise. Crank the heat up, light a fire in the fireplace and clear the floor. Lay out your best beach towels, get the beach boys music playing or an old 50's beach movie. Heat up the suntan lotion and get on your bathing suit. When your wife returns offer to help her put on her sunscreen. Everyone who loves physical touch loves a message!
4. Acts of service
Use DIY Teen's bath bomb recipe to make your wife a homemade bath bomb. Buy or collect candles. Clean the bathroom like it has never been cleaned before. Collect your wife's favorite reading material, softest robe and get the kids to bed. Turn on your love song- you know the one. Add roses, light the candle and start the bath. Invite your wife to an hour by herself while you do the dishes or tidy up. Make sure you have clean sheets on the bed so you can tuck her in when she is ready to tell you how much she appreciates you.
If you're not sure what love language your wife speaks, we recommend you try all five and see which makes her smile most!
Quality time is the easiest love language of all and the most difficult all at the same time. Time is free and yet hard to come by. Take the time to learn the things your wife loves to do and then spend all your free time doing them.
For example, Lisa loves to go "Yard Sale-ing." Her husband can take the time to find all of Saturday's yard sales and then sail away with Lisa, a handful of cash and a picnic basket. She is sure to find treasures and he is sure to treasure the time.
Shannon Symonds, Author of Safe House due to be released July 2017 by Cedar Fort, has 15 years experience working as an Advocate for victims of domestic and sexual violence while raising 6 children in Seaside Oregon. She loves to write, run and Laugh